Did you make your kid proud?
The kid that you once were.
In the midst of life, we are asked to imagine how our younger self would feel if they see us today; where we are now, or how far we have come, if they would be proud of us today.
It aims to put things into perspective, to help us see whether we were on the right track, the goal we set for ourselves — if we ever reached it, if we ever accomplished those milestones that we hoped to achieve, if our values still align.
Sure, it does allow you to think “Have I done enough with myself, on what was needed to be done for where I needed to go?”
But it makes me wonder, if this “method” or question - or whatever we want to call it - is really practical. Because, what if we haven’t achieved them yet? What if we are still on the way but our timelines got recalculated along the way?
If I am being honest, I feel this is just another way the world has failed us yet again — calling it the system of attaining success, or self-reflection, only to backfire us, our morals, values, dreams, goals, life as we know it, to gaslight us into thinking we are failures. To increase resent, regret, the what ifs’ — because let’s be honest, sometimes life works out for us in it’s own way and does not really pan out the way we envisioned it, especially when we don’t have a control of the past anymore.
I’m not claiming we should not aim, have goals, or not make any effort, etc — those are vital for us to get to point B from point A. It’s just that there are many times in life that certain circumstances happen to be out of our control — which actually end up influencing our lives and shaping it such that it deters us from our alleged “path”. Perhaps it’s the way of the universe, perhaps God is rerouting us to the right path, perhaps it’s karma. Perhaps it’s just the way how life is.
Because.
If life had such a backwards way/or a reverse way of working out, we should have been popped into existence at an old age, de-growing back into a younger age and moving towards a vaccum, non-existance. (note: how odd is it in reality we accept the passing of time as growing into an older age, gaining wisdom — yet we are further running out of time and interweaving with aspects of life).
*takes a breath*.
On another note, I realize there is no proper opposite word for “growing” — as per Chat GPT, it is decreasing/shrinking/decline. Getting back to the topic ->
INSTEAD. I would propose a different perspective. A very common POV that we at least applied once in our lives.
Instead of thinking backwards, we think presently. Not in the future, not in the past, but in the NOW.
Where we are today, how we got here, what went well, what didn’t, who was there by our side, who we thought would be but was not, what resources did we have — which resource helped, which didn’t.
I feel this would help us properly self reflect, to improve.
That, it would make me feel proud to look back to where I was, where I have come - instead of guilt tripping me into feeling the resent of not being enough, setting up the right expectations not just with ourselves, but with our family, and especially kids.
